Funny Quotes That Make You Laugh Out Loud & Get Motivated

 

49 Funny Motivational Quotes from The Best

How to get motivated and overcome laziness and listlessness? … Here are our 49 favourite one-liners from the funniest people in the world and other people who inspire us. Plus, we’ve thrown in a few proudly South African quotes from our much-loved funny people. Check out these funny motivational quotes! For more motivation check out 99 Sport Motivational Quotes and Motivational Quotes by Famous People!

 

 

2. “ Ja, nee.” 

― Mark Banks (South African comedian)

 

3. "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."

― Mark Twain (American writer and humorist)

 

4. "Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself."

― Groucho Marx (American comedian, writer and actor)

 

5. “I can’t make everyone happy. I’m not Briyani.” 

― Unknown (funny Cape Town saying)

 

6. "You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to be a hundred."

― Woody Allen (American actor)

 

 

8. "One man’s old bread is another man’s frikkadel (meatball).”

― Unknown (funny South African saying)

 

9. "This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone but it will pass."

― Unknown

 

10. "The best way to eat an elephant in your path is to cut him up into little pieces." 

― African proverb​ 

 

11. "People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing - that’s why we recommend it daily."

― Zig Ziglar  (American author and motivational speaker)

 

 

13. "Dala what you must… our version of “’n Boer mark ‘n plan”."

― Stuart Taylor (South African comedian)

 

14. "I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific."

― Lily Tomlin (American comedian)

 

15. "If your girlfriend is having a bad day, then it doesn’t matter how lekker your day is going… you are now also having a bad day my bru."

― Unknown (funny South African saying)

 

16. "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

― Winnie the Pooh  

 

17. "Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it." 

― Tom Lehrer  (American musician, singer and satirist)

 

 

19. "The older you get, the more you start to realise that you can't win an argument in a relationship. You can't win a fight with your woman. Because if you lose, you lose. And if you win, you lose."

― Trevor Noah  (South African comedian)

 

20. "A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory."

Mark Twain  (American writer)

 

21. "Whining is the sound an engine makes when it’s straining and not going anywhere.​"

― John Vlismas​ (South African comedian)

 

22. "I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."

― Benjamin Franklin (American author and politician)

 

23. "Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia."

― Charles Schulz​ (American cartoonist)

 

 

25. "Never stick your tongue out at someone you can’t lick."

― Sid Bolon  (Canadian computer gamer and collector)

 

26. "Nou gaan ons braai."  (meaning "no matter what the problem, we will  have a barbeque”)

― Barry Hilton (South African comedian)

 

27. "An optimist is someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha."

― Robert Brault (American operatic tenor)

 

28. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.​"

― Will Ferrell (American actor)

 

29. "They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning."

― Clint Eastwood (American actor)

 

 

31. "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

― Unknown

 

32. "By all means let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out."

― Richard Dawkins (English biologist and author)

 

33. "If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck."

― Tiger Woods (American actor and writer)

 

34. "I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

― Groucho Marx (American comedian, actor and writer)

 

35. "Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night."

― Jason Love (American professional basketball player)

 

 

37. “Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly... on a broomstick. We're flexible like that.” 

― Unknown 

 

38. “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka and have a party.”

- Ron White (American comedian and actor)

 

39. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.”

― Robert Bloch (American fiction writer)

 

40. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.”

― Billie Burke (American actress)

 

41. "When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”

― Unknown

 

 

43. “Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.”

― Unknown

 

44. “Relationships are a lot more like algebra. For instance, have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?” 

― Unknown

 

45. “A man with diarrhea will not require anyone to give them the direction to the door.”

― African proverb (meaning you are responsible for solving your own problems) 

 

46. “Don't get all depressed over a guy from the past. That's like getting sad because the garbage man picked up the trash.”

― ​Unknown

 

47. “If you’re complaining about your boyfriend not being able to take you to a fancy restaurant every weekend, you must come right. Remember, there are females out there who are content with getting Wilson toffees, a small packet of Nik Naks and watching SABC 3 with her boyfriend.”

― Unknown  (South African joke)

 

48. "You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it"

― Robin Williams (American comedian)